So I asked myself what would that one thing for love be?
Is there something that I’m not doing for the people I love, that I should?
Is there something I would want a loved one to do for me?
Is there something that I do or he does that makes me love him more, or vice versa?
Is there a something that we do for each other that I would want to share with others?
And then, in a flash, I knew what I would write about;
S P A C E
I have heard too many couples fight over space. I have seen too many kids demand space and parents intruding their children’s space. Many of them don’t understand what ‘space’ means? We often call it the ‘private space’ and a large section of society understands that. The Bathroom is a private space, the changing room or having your room closed for 5 minutes to change into your night clothes is letting a person have their private space. But anything, other than the space you require to conduct yourself modestly, goes unheard.
I’ve always struggled to explain the importance of space to my parents, it being an integral requirement for me to keep up with my own thoughts, sanity and being. More so, with the advent of internet and the parental fear of losing control over the vast information being read or seen by an adolescent child.
My space, to me, is the intersection of time and place where there is no one but me. A time when I think about my day or year, my thoughts and reasons for acting or reacting in a particular manner. This space gives me time to analyse myself and the others around me without being interrupted or disturbed by someone walking into my room or the space that I have created for myself.
Vacations work in a similar manner. You get away from the closed walls of your house and office into an unknown spaces, spaces that are vast and open, unpredictable and sans the comforts you have built for yourself overtime. These spaces force you to think about the questions you probably have never had the time to think about, to watch and discuss life and other intangible thoughts running about in your subconscious. Vacation and holidays let you escape into a space that you can call your own and eventually have an healing effect on your life. It’s like a pause button after months of being played, forwarded and rewound. It’s a space in time to rest and, to heal.
Picture this –
You are camping alone in the middle of nowhere. At night, you are lying under the stars, staring into ‘space’, surrounded by mountains and the village lamps at a distance and all you can hear are your own thoughts and the background music of the river splashing on the stones.
Just picturing a moment like this in time, sends calming signals to your mind. You feel just a little bit refreshed and yearn for a time and place where you can experience this in reality. What you have just done, is escaped into a ‘space’.
Now Imagine this –
The two of you are camping in the middle of nowhere. At night, you lay side by side under the stars, silently staring into ‘space’, surrounded by mountains and the village lamps at a distance and all you can hear are your own thoughts and the background music of the river splashing on the stones.
I know what you’re thinking. This is what romance is made up of, isn’t it? Being together in the exact same scenario lets you bond with each other in a space that is neither yours nor hers. It is a time and place where both of you have escaped to get healed together. This will work, if both of you understand the important of space and not use this moment to bring up daily issues but use it to talk to each other about mundane, intangible thoughts that you never give yourself the time to think back home. A space, in which you listen and express without the pressure to agree or deny or come to a conclusion. A conversation of the moment and what your feel about sharing this special space with the chosen one.
This space can bond the two of you, forever. A special space that you can escape to, to heal and to reminisce every time the stress of your daily life takes over.
Now comes the difficult part. It’s very romantic to be sharing a ‘space’ together but when it comes to giving the other person his/her space without being a part of it, that’s where the problem begins. We are unable to fathom why the person we love needs time and space away from us. But that’s not what the other person wants, all he/she is asking for is, to spend time with themselves, to analyse their day and the choices they have made.
Think of like a daily exercise or a meditation routine, imperative for one’s being. And if you don’t spend time with your own self, start now. It will help you understand yourself and then the concept of ‘space’ will be clear to you. Practice incorporate space in your life for yourself and giving it to others. And after that you will truly understand the meaning of sharing a ‘space’ together and what makes it so romantic and fulfilling.
‘Space’ is the single most thing that I will give and want to receive from all I love.